A young girl (18ish) walks into a prestige car sales room. Looks around at all the Porsches, Lamborghini’s, Jags etc., and says to the salesman
“Can I have the red one?” – a top of the range Porsche.
“I’ll pay cash!” and starts taking handfuls of bills out of a carrier bag until she gets to the right price.
The deal is finalized very quickly and the girl drives it away.
She is back two days later and says, “I want my money back…it smells awfully bad when I use the brakes,” she states emphatically.
Not wanting to lose the sale (having taken cash and fiddled the books) the manager decides to ride in the car with her in case she is not driving it properly’.
He gets in and she roars out of the dealer- ship, drops it into second gear at 55 mph, floors the pedal again and slips into 3rd at 80 mph does a handbrake turn into a country lane and then really starts to accelerate.
At 120 mph she shifts into 4th gear; at 145 mph she goes into 5th gear.
The engine is screaming, trying to lea
p out of the hood when it reaches 170 mph. The scenery is a green blur and the G-force has him pinned in the seat.
In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a train crossing are beginning to come down and she will have to slow down.
Instead the pitch of the engine increases!
100 yards from the crossing she slams on the brakes and the car comes to a screeching halt mere inches from the barrier.
“Can you smell it?” she says.
“SMELL IT? I’M SITTING ON IT!”
2.(Sorry for not putting 1.)A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road.
After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.
“Gosh!” exclaimed the new bride. “You certainly have a dangerous job. Don’t you ever get bitten by the snakes?”
“Yes, upon rare occasions,” answered the handler.
“Well,” she continued, “just what do you do when you’re bitten by a snake?”
“I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten,
I make deep criss-cross marks across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound.”
“What, uh…what would happen if you were to accidentally *sit* on a rattler?” persisted the woman.
“Ma’am,” answered the snake handler, “that will be the day I learn who my real friends are.”
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.
The older doctor suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to him.
At the first house, a woman complained, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach. ”
The older doctor said, “well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick ? ”
As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman. How’d you come to your diagnosis so quickly?”
“I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there?
When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash.
That was what was probably making her sick.
“Huh,” the younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. I think I’ll try that at the next house.”
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just didn’t have the energy she once did. “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”
“You’ve probably been doing too much work for the church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”
As they left, the elder doc said, “Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?”
“Well just like you did at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed.
(Sorry for not putting 1. and 3.)
New jokes come weekly.
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First one is hilarious!
HAHAHA loved the first and the second one
lol i lke the second one better
I think all three jokes was funny; enough said
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haha the 1st one is the best
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The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.
Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.
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The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.
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