Lincoln Center Live.
I was scared I was gonna be late, so I kept saying “come on!” and when we went outside (apparently we had been in Jamba Juice the entire time) I didn’t see it, so I went back inside. But then I saw everyone on the other side of the parking lot. So I texted my best friend Savannah, and she didn’t wanna lose her place in line (she was number 150) but she did anyway. But then everyone started breaking up and regrouping with their friends. I don’t remember how, but then everyone got wet.
The Park.
We were all at the park, because apparently I was preggo and it was a baby shower. And Lauren Conrad was there. Then I got a text that said ‘hey whats up’ I replied, ‘who is this’ because their number wasn’t in my phone. Then they called me, and it was this girl Sydney (who is a grade below me at the school I moved to in January, I never talk to her. Ever). She apparently didn’t know I was pregnant, and she asked me what was up, and I just said ‘nothing much’ and Lauren looked at me like I was crazy because I didn’t mention the fact that I was like almost 9 months pregnant. Then I hung up with her. Then both Lauren (she was pregnant too) and I started having contractions. So we went to the hospital.
The Hospital.
A couple hours later, my contractions had just stopped, while Lauren and some other chica had just had baby boys. Lauren had the nurse take her baby boy to my room so I could hold him, because she wanted my baby and hers to play together when they got older. She had named her baby boy Joel. And no matter how hard I tried, that baby just wouldn’t come out of me. Then, we were leaving, since apparently I wasn’t ready to have a kid. And my brother was there, and he asked Lauren if she drove a Porsche Spyder, and she got all uncomfortable. Then I asked for her autograph, and she was like ‘no.’ She got into her car, and I was still just standing there and she said ‘look, I’m not going to give you an autograph. Then I realized she was sitting on the wrong side of her car, and she told me to get in the driver’s seat, so I did. Then she got out of the car and I had to drive home.
Home.
I didn’t know what to do with her car, since it was so expensive. (Apparently it wasn’t a spyder..It was a Squirrel.) So I parked it where no Mexicans could steal it. Then I went to bed, and I had a tiny contraction, so we went back to the hospital.
The Hospital.
I started having contractions again, but once again, no baby came out. So the nurse put me in the bathtub, and starting asking me all these questions, but she couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t give birth. (It might have had something to do with the fact that my water hadn’t broken yet.) So then, we were leaving the hospital, and my brother and I got in a limo. And George Lopez was there. He said that he was giving both my brother and I what we really wanted. He handed my brother a mandolin or something, and Yo Yo Ma stepped out of the car and was gonna teach my brother how to play the Cello. Then Lauren Conrad stepped out of the car.
Home.
We were all at home (along with Yo Yo Ma and Lauren) and she got my big orange and yellow ball and one of those water noodle things and signed them for me. THE END.
(I never had that baby)
Also, I’m only 13.
Never had s*x
and never been pregnant..
Concern about mexicans: There’s a lot of…lets just say bad/mean guys out by where I live.